Ultimatum
♥
Friday, March 28, 2008
10:35 PM
Dear Seahum,
Do you know that you could be part of Singapore Guinness Book of Records?
Guess you are just simply unaware that how ridiculous and how much of a 'chicken pie' you have been for the past year or so?
Nin nabei,
Main server printer no paper, my fault. (I'm in toilet using toilet paper)
Main server BLACK ink catridge depleted, my fault. (I printed 4 coloured pages ONLY)
Air-con not on, my fault. (WTF?)
No more hot water, my fault. (do you want to blame me for no Ice cubes in fridge too?)
Toilet bowl got shit stain, my fault. (you probably can diagnose where is Mas Selamat by toilet stains too I guess?)
Your office desk got cockroach, my fault? (Xiao Qiang! Yuan Wang ah!)
Office got mouse, my fault also? (Brownie!)
Internet connection broke off, you accused me hacked into main server and simi lanjiao 'port filtering'.
And you discovered a virus at main server today and you maligned that it is through a file I've attached in my emails. (For the benefit of all Mankind, the 'file' is just a scanned document... didnt know besides dust particles, we could actually 'scan' virus into computer also.)
And nin nama,
You don't have to act pitiful and confide in SLL (Steven Lim Lookalike) that I'm making things difficult for you lah.
Big chicken pie.
Even if SLL side with you I also can't be in the least bothered at all.
Every morning bing bing bang bang here and there, you which part buay song? Left, right, center, in, out, up your ass?
SLL or the bosses came in, you start acting demure like Little Red Riding Hood and hiss and heehee here and there like gila xiao ding dong.
An advice,
My mother says hor, if you got illness, you should treat it while you still got hope lah.
But IMHO, I think you no hope liao loh.
No elixir can help you also.
And no, those abalone, bird nest, you Ji Kup from our company won't help with your mental illness despite me not being a Psychiatrist.
You once told me you could easily trace what websites we surf hor?
And I guess you took a lot of pride in surfing what we surf in office everyday probably hoping to get my sex scandal photos or videos like Edison Chen yah?
Sorry to disappoint you hor, I'm a virgin, so no photos loh.
Seriously I suspect got spiders went into your chicken pie and built a colony inside leh.
That's why your husband don't want to give it to you right? And probably that's the best reason every morning you so frustrated.
Tsk tsk.
Can't blame your husband you know?
Which guy in his sane of mind would want to fuck spider?
Before I end this letter, here's a tip for you about your daughter who is probably in remand centre or girls home right now:
Since you everyday share and wear your daughters' clothes, bra, panties and such, why don't you just wear her clothes (don't care got bra or panties anot) and go get locked up on her behalf instead?
Trust me, your daughter will be very touched if you do that.
And hey, I might just visit you with a can of abalone too.
Peace out.
- Mousey
